Something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately is community. Being part of a community is about as human as it gets. We all want to belong to something and at some point we all choose who our community is made up of and what it’s focused on.

Building a community is extremely fulfilling and being part of one can benefit you both personally and professionally. Even though many of them seem attractive, not all communities are healthy so it’s good to be aware of what ones you’re part of and why.

It’s taken me a few years to realize this, but the communities you choose to invest your time in is one of the most important decisions you make on a daily basis. They influence how you act, where you go, what you do and who else you interact with. This is why it’s crucial to make sure you’re willingly part of the communities you associate with and have thought through why you’re there in the first place.

It sounds like that’s a no-brainer, but I’ve found that I’ll become part of a community, invest my time and energy there and I don’t really know why I’m part of it or what I’m getting out of it. Or, I might be part of the community but I’m only involved at a surface level and I’m not really committed to being a significant part of it. This can easily happen with certain groups of your friends, the people you work with or even the staff at a restaurant you go to on a regular basis.

It’s easy to do the minimum required to stay loosely connected to a group and some people prefer being an insignificant member of multiple communities than a valuable member of just a few. This is how I was when I lived back in Indianapolis. I was part of just about every community I could possibly commit to and the result was that I didn’t get to really connect with any of them. Did a lot of people know who I was? Oh yeah, tons of people knew Ryan Hupfer but they only knew a very small part of me and I wasn’t providing a whole lot of value to any of them.

Why did this happen to me and ho does it happen so easily to us when we’re choosing where to spend our time? I can think of a few reasons, but the main one is that it’s risky and a lot of work to truly invest in a community. You need to spend a lot of time getting to know other people and as a result you also need to open up yourself up more than might be comfortable for you. The more you get to know people, the more they know about you and the more you know about them and not all of us are ok will people knowing our business.

But that’s what a community is supposed to be, right? I know it’s been hard for me to open up to the communities I’m choosing to be part of right now (church, work, friends, family to name a few), but I’m getting better at it. It’s really hard at the beginning, but the payoff has been awesome and I would suggest you do the same. Just make sure you’re in the type of community that’s healthy for you and realize that it’s going to take some time and investment to become a valuable part of it.

What communities are you part of? I would love to hear more about them in the comments sections if you have some time to let me know.

A few days ago I was watching an Indiana University basketball game with some friends of mine and while the opposing team was shooting free throws I saw something awesome in the crowd — a bunch of big cardboard cut-out heads of random famous people and characters. The students were waving them around and I was laughing while I was calling out all of the random people I could call out.

“Pee-Wee Herman! Hulk Hogan! Barack Obama! Happy Gilmore! Bob Knight! Oscar The Grouch! Apolo Ohno!” and the list went on and on. I had no idea how they came up with these different heads, but I was very curious.

Yesterday I got my answer when my buddy sent me over a link to this article about how the big, funny heads came to be. It’s an interesting story and definitely worth a read if you’ve ever wondered about how the tradition first got started.

Nice work, IU. Nice work.

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photo credit Indianapolis Star

After a four hour layover in Chicago, I made it home for my yearly holiday pilgrimage to Indiana. This year I’m home for about 10 days and just like previous years they’re going to fly by. When I’m home there’s a lot of people to see and a lot of things to do, which means that the days don’t tend to hang around for very long.

When it comes to vacations back home there are some things that I really look forward to like:

1. Getting to see my family and friends — I have lots of friends who still live in Indianapolis and tons of family (for example, I have 8 nieces and nephews) so it’s always great to see as many of them as I can while I’m home.

2. Eating at buffets — the midwest is the king of the buffets and I usually take full advantage of them.

3. White Castle and Hotbox Pizza — these two restaurants always make it into our agendas, usually around 3 in the morning.

4. Seeing my high school basketball team in action — it doesn’t always work out, but it’s always fun to sneak in a Pendleton Heights High School basketball game when I’m home.

5. Catching a Colts game — thanks to the fact that my brother has season tickets and that he’s actually nice to me now I usually get to catch the last Colt’s home game of the season when I’m home. Stephanie and I have done this for the last 3 years now and it’s always an awesome game (even if we ARE 2-13 this year)

6. Seeing snow on Christmas — you don’t see snow out in California unless you drive to Tahoe, so seeing some of the white stuff while in Indiana for Christmas is pretty cool.

7. Christmas decorations — most people in San Francisco don’t decorate a whole lot for Christmas, but all kinds of people do in Indiana. This makes it feel like a lot more like Christmas.

With all that being said, there are a few things that I don’t look forward to when heading back to Indiana, too.

1. It’s really cold — with the snow comes freeing weather, which I’m not used to anymore. Call me a wuss, but anything under 50 degrees feels freezing cold to me.

2. So much driving — out of the 10 days that I’ll be in Indiana I think that 4 of them are spent driving.

3. So much eating — I know I said that I like all of the food that I get to eat while being home, but there’s also a part of me that hates it. My problem is that when there’s food in front of me, I’m probably going to eat it. Yeah, that’s all my fault, but that doesn’t mean that I have to like it.

4. Working out indoors — I’ve gotten used to running outside whenever I want to and that’s just not going to happen when it’s 30 degrees out. This means that I’ll be hitting the treadmills, which I’m not a huge fan of (at least they have TVs I can watch).

5. Not having Frank around — the past couple of years we’ve brought Frank home with us to Indiana, but this year we decided to to leave the little guy at home with one of his buddies. It looks like he’s having fun without us, so I don’t feel too guilty about it.

No matter what I don’t like sometimes, I’ve realized just how blessed I am to be living in San Francisco and to be able to fly home with Stephanie back to Indiana for the holidays. I feel awesome this year and it’s always great to be able to spend so much time with my friends and family.

You’re at work and you’re not feeling it. Or on a long run and your legs just don’t have the bounce they usually do. Somehow you managed to get two parking tickets in the same day. You’re feeling slow and there’s just not enough caffeine in the world to give you the energy you need. Sometimes things just don’t go your way or you’re not feeling the way you want. You’re having a bad day, you’re in a funk and there’s nothing you can do about it.

What happens to you when things don’t feel great? Do you start making excuses? Do you become someone who’s a little less appealing to be around? What happens to you when you’re not quite feeling up to par or at the top of your game? I know that I’m not always who I want to be when things aren’t going my way and it has to stop. I’ve been recognizing and working on this part of myself, but I have so far to go it’s not even funny.

How do I make myself step it up when I’m not feeling so hot? That’s the million dollar question and I think it starts with getting to know yourself more than you do now. I know it sounds easy, but the first step in not having a day when you feel worn out, tired, irritable or unproductive is making sure that you take care of yourself in the ways your mind and body requires. Here are some things you should think about:

Sleep: are you getting enough sleep at night? How much sleep do you need to feel rested? lack of sleep is a major cause of bad days, so get to know how much you need and make sure you get in the amount you need. I’m really bad at getting enough sleep and I have a feeling that a lot of other people are, too.

Emotional Stability: How are you feeling emotionally? Do you have something on your mind that’s been bothering you and that you need to get off your chest? If you do and you’re not doing anything about it (talking through it with someone, writing about it, dealing with it, etc.) then it could get you into a bad mood that’s hard to shake. Bite the bullet, get it off your chest and move on to bigger and better things. This is something I’m trying to get better at, but it’s a slow (and sometimes painful) process.

Physical Fitness: If you’re in terrible shape and not taking care of yourself physically you’re going to feel the consequences sooner or later. There’s no better way to keep your stress levels in check than by getting a good workout in. I don’t care if it’s a run, walk, swim, bike or yoga — getting out and getting moving is a great way to keep you in a better mood.

Being Honest With Yourself: You’re the only one who knows what you need in order to perform at the level you need to be, so it’s up to you to make sure that you’re taking care of yourself. Don’t become obsessed with what other people are doing — they’re not you and they don’t work like you do. Do what you need to do, be honest with yourself and put yourself in the best position you possibly can. This doesn’t mean that you’re always going to feel great, but you’ll have the best chance for being at the top of your game on a consistent basis.

Are you always going to feel great? Of course not. There are going to be days that you’re going to struggle through and that’s OK. It’s during those days that you need to recognize what’s going on, why and how you can make it though in a productive and positive way. Everyone can perform on the days that feel great, but it’s the bad days that show us what we’re really made of. With the right preparation and expectations we can make it though them without sacrificing too much productivity, sanity or positivity.

Everyone wants more energy. The more energy we have the more we can do, the more we can do the more productive we can become and the more productive we can become the more valuable we are to society. Energy is an interesting thing that I think about a lot. When I feel energetic I love it and I can’t get enough. It’s like a drug that I want to keep using as long as I can. I get more things done, I think clearer and I have an increased interest in other people.

Most ways that people get energy are temporary. This could be from a cup of coffee, a Red Bull (who just gave my office a couple cases yesterday) or a 5 hour energy shot. These various energy drinks are a multi-billion dollar industry and believe me, I’ve spent my fair share of money on them (and sometimes I still do). I have no idea what the long-term side effects are, but if taken at a higher than recommended level I can’t see how any of these options can be good for you. Plus, I’ve always found that they become addictive over time, which is never good.

Of course there are other ways of getting more long-term and sustainable energy, but it’s not going to be as easy as picking up a can of caffeine at the gas station. Eating healthy, getting more sleep and exercising can give you the same results all without the side effects that you’re going to have from drinking energy drinks.

Is it easy to tap into your natural energy this way? Heck no, it’s actually pretty hard and it takes time and focus to sustain it. But, I can guarantee that if you stick with it and start to see the difference between getting your energy from a can or from a run — there’s no way you’ll ever go back.

I’m working to keep my energy sources natural, but I’ll admit that sometimes I fall off the horse and end up buying Big Gulps full of Mountain Dew on a daily basis. Although it does feel pretty awesome for the first couple days or so, eventually I get hit with the side effects and the fact that I can’t rely on the tasty, yellow caffeinated goodness for all of the energy that I need to make it through my week. It just doesn’t work for me and it won’t work for you as a long-term way to keep you productive.

I’m fascinated with consistency. Mainly because it’s something that you can’t fake and it’s the key to seeing success in everything you do. I don’t care if it’s brushing your teeth, moving up the corporate ladder, getting in shape or a relationship with your neighbor — consistency is key.

I’m not good with consistency. In fact, I’m really bad at it. I love when things change and I seem to enjoy chaos in whatever I do. I think this makes me a great startup guy, but it tends to make me a bad husband, friend and long-term employee. I’m a lot better at being consistent than I used to be, so apparently it’s something you can learn, but I’ve got a long way to go.

Something that I’ve learned about consistency is that there’s a breaking point where my fight and struggle against being consistent is overtaken by the positive feeling of staying on course and turning something into a habit.

I’m not sure if that makes sense for anyone outside of my head, so let me give you an example. Once I’ve been running consistently for a few weeks and I start to feel in shape my fight against consistency starts to fade away. This is due to my growing sense of accomplishment which comes from the recognizable evidence that my efforts have, in fact, resulted in me getting what I initially wanted.

This is when it gets interesting because my new sense of accomplishment results in more motivation to continue with the consistency, which then leads to even more positive results and the cycle continues.

At this point you’re usually on top of your game. You’re running farther than you ever have before or you’re making more moves at work than you ever thought you could. At this point truly consistent people keep on pushing and move on to bigger and better things while others take this sense of accomplishment as an opportunity and right to be less consistent.

This, my friends is called complacency and when you let it creep into your mind it will make all of the work and consistent focus that you’ve had up to this point completely worthless. I don’t have time to go into it now, but this is something that I’ll dig deeper into some other time.

Until then, be consistent and don’t give up too soon. Consistency over time equals results, so stick with it!

If there’s one thing that I’ve learned about myself over the past couple of years it’s the fact that I really need my sleep to be a positively contributing member of society. If I have 7-8 hours of sleep under my belt when I get out of bed in the morning, watch out world because I’m coming at you full force like a boss.

The words that would describe me when I get some sleep would be:

– motivated
– fun
– loving
– creative
– spontaneous
– patient
– relaxed
– social

On the other hand, if I don’t get any sleep (or enough) then I tend to be better described as:

– cranky
– boring
– uptight
– anti-social
– a terrible husband

The funny thing is that I used to be able to go with practically no sleep and there was usually one day a week when I didn’t sleep at all (p.s. that’s not a good idea). Of course, that was also when I worked by myself most of the day and wasn’t married. I’m sure that I was just as bad back then, but the thing was that I was a lot younger and there was no one to let me know about it. Plus, I would put back some caffeine like it was going out of style so even if I actually was tired I would never know it (p.s. that’s not a good idea, either).

So, what now? Well, I don’t drink any caffeine anymore and I’m doing my best to get some sleep and it seems to be doing the trick. I’m not saying that I’m getting all of the sleep I need (it’s really hard for me to go to bed early), but I am giving it a good effort.

I know that it sounds really lame, but figuring out what keeps you energized throughout the day is really important and for most of us it’s getting the sleep that we need to cover the amount of activity we do during the day. Do a lot? Well, then you better sleep a lot, too.

Want to hear what people who are way smarter than me say about getting sleep? Check out this Harvard post from 2006 titled 6 Reasons Not To Scimp On Sleep.