Love Isn’t Robotic
New habits (both good and bad) all start out as feeling awkward or unnatural and we’re born with abilities that make some easier to acquire than others. The rest of the habits we end up developing throughout our lives happen due some type or motivation and require repetition, time and effort.
Habits are forced, but they’re forced for a reason. Some reasons are personal and affect us individually. Others are meant to affect those outside of ourselves and have a wider impact on lives other than our own.
Personally I’m building a habit to run and to get in shape for the upcoming San Francisco marathon. On the other hand I’m building habits to be a better employee at work and they won’t only affect me, but my co-workers, investors, customers and others. I’m also building habits that will help me be a better husband and they will affect my wife and others who are invested in our relationship. Some groups get more affected than others, but you get the idea.
Habits are learned and although foreign to us initially they quickly become part of our routine. While we’re in the process of creating the new habits we aren’t being a fake or robotic version of ourselves, it’s more than that. We’re showing that we’re willing to invest the time and effort to change or improve something we’ve recognized we need.
With your significant other, building the right habits shows you’re willing to change for the benefit of the relationship. That’s something that should never be overlooked or taken for granted.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that love isn’t a habit, but the habits you create or change to support love really shows how much you care. Some of the habits aren’t going to feel natural for a while, but the fact that they’re being built specifically for the relationship shows more love than you might realize.
Love is learned and yes, love can be awkward but the struggles over time and the willingness to build habits for love are what will make it last forever.
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Do you have any thoughts/experience on building habits for love? Share your brilliant knowledge with us in the comments below.
Rex
Treating a relationship like it’s routine can lead to the biggest wake up call of your life.
Each relationship can be different but the same, as once you figure out it’s more you, than the other person – you’ll start unlocking the mystery of why some people are married for ~50 years and others can barely make it 5.
Patience and realization that no person is perfect and not all times are fun times. Fun times are only defined by how you view them later. What is fun now, can be viewed later as a real PITA.
Sometimes it’s best to walk away. You can’t fix everything or everyone, and if you attempt to be the fixer, you’ll just end up being frustrated most of the time. Try working with vs working against.
Believe in something and let that guide your ultimate path. Walking alone makes it too easy to step on the land mines that life holds for you.
Lastly, my thoughts come from 2 divorces and 5 kids as well as doing things my own way to find out that my own way wasn’t always the correct way. Take my thoughts above fwiw. 🙂