We’re Not Meant To Go Through It Alone

It’s really hard being a human sometimes. We’re built to be in community with one another (why do you think Facebook is so popular?), but at the same time we also want to be able to stand on our own. It makes us feel good knowing that we can do it ourselves and proving that we’re happily independent. I don’t need your help, I’ve got this taken care of and I’m actually a little offended that you thought I couldn’t take care of it. How insulting.

We also don’t like sharing the things that we’re struggling with. We’re embarrassed, we’re ashamed and why would we want to drag someone else into our problems? Sometimes we not only keep them to ourselves, but we brush them off and ignore them hoping that they will just go away on their own.

Personally, I’m getting better at this but I used to be able to brush things off with the best of ’em. For one reason or another I just didn’t have the tools or maturity it took at that time to deal with situations like that. At the time there was just no way that me, Ryan Hupfer, was ever struggling with anything. I had everything under control and I didn’t need any help from anyone. Wow, was I wrong.

Now things are a little different. More and more I’m able to recognize the things that I need help with or need to change in myself and I feel like that’s a good first step. Taking it to the next level for me was sharing what I was going through with others who cared about me. The thing that triggered this thinking for me was finally running into something so big I knew in my heart that I couldn’t handle it on my own. It took me a while to figure this out, even after the struggles I was having at the time kept telling me to seek the community I needed. I guess sometimes we just need to listen to ourselves and stop being so damn stubborn. As a human, this isn’t easy.

So where am I at now? I’m still struggling with some significant issues in my life (aren’t we all), but my faith and the people I’ve surrounded myself with help keep me grounded in a way that’s healthy and sustainable. They are people who don’t just want to keep me happy, either. They’re giving me the truth and support I need without only telling me what I want to hear. I’m so thankful that they’re willing to tell me the truth and that I hope I can receive it in a way that that’s positive. It really sucks go through tough times and it’s easy to try to control everything all myself, but I honestly don’t know what I would do if I didn’t bring these other people into the mix.

If you’re struggling through something and trying to fix it all yourself you should really think about sharing it with someone who cares about you. It’s not always easy and it’s extremely humbling, but through sharing you’ll start down the road of healing and that’s exactly where you need to be. How do you start? How about when the next time they ask you how you’re doing you don’t just tell them “I’m doing good, how about you?” and you open up about what’s really going on instead? Doing this will not only get you some interesting reactions but it will start the process of enabling your community to help you through your struggles.


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  1. deswope

    It also lets you know who your true friends are and who your fly by friends are!

  2. Hup

    You’re right, Donnie. There’s no better way to see who your real friends are then how they react when you’re going through something that’s tough to deal with.

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